A journey begins

I recently got an email saying that my blogs are too funny and that I make light of serious topics. So tonight, I'm taking a Detour and I'm going to talk about something very, very important:

There are tribes in Africa that send boys into the jungle to kill a lion as a test of becoming a man.Young Spartan boys were thrust naked into the snow, forced to kill a wolf before being deemed a man. Other cultures go through long rituals as rites of passage. I've been around the world, fought skilled opponents for money, I have been a life saver and a heart breaker. Now I embark on what my culture has decided is my rite of passage to becoming a true man. That's right, friends: I'm growing a mustache.

The mustache has in recent times been associated with Cops, homosexuals, and TV hosts from Kazakhstan. The mustache has a much greater history and truly is the sign of a man. Tom Selleck, Alex Trebeck, Bill the Butcher, Mario (of the Mario Brothers fame), Hitler, and I'm pretty sure one of the Duke boys. What do these men of men have in common? The mustache, of course!

So I come to the point in my life when I need to test what it is to be a man, and I come to the mustache. Women do NOT have them (except bearded ladies, women of Spanish decent and my Aunt, but she says it's a thyroid problem), so it would make sense that there is nothing more manly than the "Stache"

I have put hours upon hours of thought into this and I'm ready. It's starting off slow and small, but so did the Great Wall of China. Now you can see that bad boy from Space! This one will grow into a mustache that other mustaches will take into the fold. They will except it as one of the tribe and they will hunt animals together. They will start fires and get into bar fights. They will chew tobacco and watch porn together. It will be glorious.

I'm not sure how long I can keep this thing growing, or if it will suit me, or if the manliness will outright push me over the man scale! These questions will be answered in due time. I've tried to make it with other types of facial hair. The goatee, the "I haven't shaved in 3 weeks" get-up, make-a-statement side burns. But nothing as to the point and triumphant as the Mustache. This is my Test to be a man. So I start off with day one of my journey.